Scout went to Kindergarten Round Up this morning. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
We walked in the door of the school. We had been there hundreds of times before but until now Scout had been the tag-along, the little sister, the "Aww look it's Scoutie." A line formed to the left. It was obvious by the short well dressed hyper-excited folks holding the hand of the nervous slightly disheveled tall folks that this was the line for us.
We checked in. Scout got a name tag with a purple dot. I got a red folder with information about buses and school supplies and learning processes. Down the hall a few feet and I went right while Scout went left. Holding the hand of Lindsey whom she met in line less than a minute ago and now best friend, she looked up at me, very quiet. "I'll see you soon." I smiled, she gripped Lindsey's hand a little tighter and followed Aaron--5th grader, elementary school expert and KindergartenWrangler to the purple room.
Moms and Dads stood in a line waiting to state the name, sign the form, promise to bring the shot records, fill out the allergy protocol and be Wrangled ourselves into the cafeteria for our orientation. In line there were smiles and looking away while we sighed, wiping away a tear for the baby we just sent down the hall with Aaron and Lindsey. "It gets easier" say the veteran moms. "I hope so," say the ones who just sent their oldest into the world with a hand-squeeze and an encouraging look. I'm not sure I believe that, but it's a comfort to think somehow we'll pull ourselves together by the time we fling number 3 down the hall with a wink and a nudge.... I don't know. I still blinked pretty quick and tried to think about anything other than Scoutie, alone, brave.
We heard the education coordinator cheer for the curriculum. Watched the video put together by the kindergarten team about social interactions, sorting, charting, reading, playing. Listened to the counselor explain speech therapy, behavior plans, character development, counseling, feel-free-to-come-by-anytime. Identified with the parent volunteer, nervous, telling us of the joys of PTA, Site Council, Raffles, Meetings, helping where we can...please please, we need you. The transportation coordinator, the ELL counselor, the Speech counselor, the coordinators, assistant psychiatrists, nurses, secretaries, 5th graders who had enjoyed their experience, all the people who would take my little Scout and help her find her way. Veterans who would catch my rookie mistakes, turn Scouts ththth's into Sss's, check her for lice, make sure she's immune to the Hepatitis ABCs, get to school and home again healthy and happy.
Then we were released. Full of information but eager to get down the hall to the purple room and our brave little adventurers. We were orderly, calm. No running in the halls, shoving, pushing, elbowing. Just orderly, walking, faster toward the end. "Is this the purple room..." and there she is. She's just finished tidying up her place. Petals glued onto an enormous sunflower. Her first kindergarten craft. Another first to add to the box of childhood artifacts ("See, you were happy, and you glued things onto paper. I was a good mother. Here's 50 bucks for your therapy co-pay.").
She's so happy to see me. But not because she was afraid. Not because she missed me. She wants to show me everything. Here's the flower I made, the book I read, the teacher, my new friend...I don't remember her name. Come here Mommy let's plant this seed. I'll show you how.
We left the building, stopping by to say hi to big brother and big sister...old hands on the elementary school scene. We carried home the giant flower, the red folder, the plastic cup with soggy dirt and a pea.
We're all rounded up...all set to begin. My Scoutie is cleared for take off.
Can we go again tomorrow? No, not tomorrow. Mommy's not ready.
