Valiant

Yesterday Rand came running back home in tears. He had been playing with friends outside after school and I thought he had been hurt. I met him on the stairs and he broke out in loud sobs as he hugged me. "My feelings are hurt," was all he said.

I took him inside and we sat in my bedroom for a few minutes to talk about what happened. The thing that was the most painful for me to hear were his first words. "It was Tyler and Kyle," was all he said but the look of betrayal on his face was clear. These two boys are his buddies, his pals, his chums. They're the boys he plays with at home when he's not forced to play with kids in his own class, his sisters or someone else I've brought over. His voice was strained and he sounded like even he couldn't believe that those two had done whatever it was to him.

I asked what they did and his tears renewed. After a few moments he was calm enough to talk and told me the story.

Our family has really clear media guidelines. Random isn't allowed to watch PG-13 movies (or Rated R movies), the shows he watches on TV have to be seen by Troy or I and approved and he isn't allowed to play Rated T or M video games. He's said before that he's the only kid ALIVE (yes he can be dramatic) that doesn't think South Park, Family Guy and the Simpsons aren't meant for kids. His friends know about these rules mostly because they've invited him over for some PG-13 fun and Rand has told them he won't participate.

So Random was out playing with Kyle and Tyler. They play rowdy boy games all the time. Most of the time it's a mix between Star Wars and "War." Yesterday they were playing as usual and Kyle invited Rand over to play a Rated M video game. Random told him no and they started to tease him. They called him names and didn't relent until he finally left in tears.

It would have been so easy...and so much easier...if he had just gone over to Kyle's house and played the game but he didn't. I was so impressed with his determination to obey and how unyielding he was in the face of some pretty aggressive peer pressure.

Not everyone shares our standards for media and that's fine. I think everyone understands the principle of drawing a line in the sand. That's what we've done with our family. We've simply said, here is where we will not go. We talk about it as a family a lot and use this as a metaphor for teaching our children to have integrity and make firm moral decisions in all areas of life.

In our church, the youngest children's classes are named CTR and then have a number corresponding to the childrens' ages. The CTR stands for 'Choose The Right' and here they learn basic principles of faith, who Jesus Christ is and God's plan for us. After they have been baptized, the names of the classes change. Now instead of being a "CTR" they are called Valiant. Valiant is a word I associate with warriors and people much older than Rand. People who stand against mighty trials and come off conqueror despite overwhelming discouragement.

For a 9 year old, or even a 39 year old, what can be more discouraging than standing before people you respect and have them point and laugh at you for your beliefs? Imagine trying to explain, then trying to change the subject, then just trying to get away all while the taunts and the jeers are getting louder and more bold.

I associate the word Valiant with warriors. Now I associate it with Random. I know as he gets older, the battles will get more intense and his enemies more subtle but after yesterday, I'm confident that he'll be ok.